Life as of now...

I haven't posted for a while because I decided to get away from blogging for a while because I got distracted with life and got lazy documenting my thoughts and events. However, another life changing event is making me rethink of everything and how come I have nothing documented about my life after my Iceland trip back in 2017... It's such a sad thing... I barely remember what I did since last year without blogging.

Since my 29th birthday, lots of things have happened.
I celebrated my 30th in Nicaragua with good friends from Ft Mac
E is finally almost done residency and we have a new life chapter beginning this summer
My mother in law got diagnosed with breast cancer metastasized to the bone cancer...

Hence, my current blog post. I feel very sad and angry- life is so unfair...

Life has a way of shaking you up when everything seems normal and stable. I just had an amazing New Year Eve party with her to celebrate 2019 and we get this horrible news. She has been very strong with the whole situation.

I find it very annoying when I say it's my mother-in-law that is dying, people tend to judge the situation as if it's ok because she is not my real biological mother but sorry to say, for me she IS my mother and will always have a special important place in my heart as I did not grow up with a conventional loving mother and my mother instinct and nurturing comes from the women of my life which are both of my mother-in-laws.

Something that Im sad is that she is no longer going to be my amazing dentist lol.
She wont be there when we have our first child. These moments are the moments that I regret not having kids yet. We have and are losing several important members that I wish my future children could have met.
- Zaidy
- Grandpa
- Grandma
and now E.M

I feel very uneasy and very "non-chalant" with what is happening in my life in Fort Mac. Im realizing little by little that these life events are happening to help me transition into my new chapter with E and I thank fate for it. I was wondering what life would throw me in order for me to close this oil sands chapter of my life. I have always known that this is just a phase in my life and that eventual I will need to move away from it and get back to my business and my other work life.

Im very grateful to have met amazing souls but it is time to be selfish and think about what is important for me and my husband. E and I have been arguing a lot about when he is done residency. He does not like the fact of having a part-time partner which I know I wont be for the most part of our life. I can't believe I have been with him for 13 years now. Time just flies when you have so much fun. WE had a great connecting time in Montreal these past few weeks while he works at the Montreal General Hospital in the Er.

Its also very sad that I needed a life changing news in order to buy all my Montreal tickets to come home and spend time with the parents... I definitively need to reflect on what is important to me and how I should transition my life.